How to be a (Happy) High Achiever
High achieving individuals are intimately acquainted with the unyielding pursuit to constantly achieve more, acquire more, and become more. While this innate drive has been responsible for remarkable progress throughout history, it also carries a significant toll.
For those wired to strive, the exhilarating "mountain top high" that accompanies each accomplishment is fleeting, quickly replaced by the hunger for the next summit. This upward trajectory, however, can only extend so far. Discontentment, a sense of emptiness, lack of purpose, stress, and burnout lie just beyond the horizon, and for high achievers, these challenges can be particularly overwhelming.
Among professionals, there is a striking disparity between success and satisfaction. One study showed that a significant 72% of accomplished entrepreneurs suffer from depression or other mental health concerns. Moreover, CEOs appear to be affected by depression at a rate that exceeds double that of the general public. These findings highlight the complex relationship between achievement and emotional well-being in high-pressure environments. In effort to find true satisfaction and purpose, it’s important to explore the specific reasons why happiness can be an elusive pursuit for successful people.
Six Reasons Why Happiness is Hard for High Achievers
The relentless pursuit of success is a common reason why satisfaction is a struggle for many high achievers. High achievers often have ambitious goals and set high standards for themselves and others. While this drive can lead to impressive accomplishments, it can also create a constant pressure to succeed. The relentless pursuit of success without allowing for balance or self-care can lead to burnout, damaged relationships, and overall unhappiness.
Perfectionism is another factor that can contribute to the unhappiness of high achievers. Many high achievers have perfectionistic tendencies, striving for flawless performance in every aspect of their lives. The constant need for perfection can be overwhelming and create a fear of failure, leading to anxiety, self-doubt, and dissatisfaction even when achieving significant milestones.
External validation is another trap that high achievers can fall into. Seeking validation and recognition from external sources, such as colleagues, supervisors, or society at large, can be a precarious path to happiness. Relying solely on external validation for happiness is subject to the ever-changing opinions and judgments of others. This dependency can leave high achievers feeling unfulfilled and constantly seeking approval.
A lack of work-life balance is a common challenge faced by high achievers. They often dedicate significant time and energy to their professional pursuits, sometimes at the expense of other important areas of life, such as relationships, hobbies, and self-care. Neglecting these aspects can lead to feelings of emptiness and a sense of imbalance, ultimately impacting overall happiness.
Comparison and imposter syndrome can also contribute to the unhappiness of high achievers. High achievers may frequently compare themselves to others, particularly those who appear more successful or accomplished. This constant comparison can fuel feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, leading to imposter syndrome, where individuals fear being exposed as a fraud despite their actual achievements.
Neglecting personal well-being is another pitfall that high achievers can fall into. They may prioritize work over self-care, resulting in exhaustion, stress, and a decline in overall happiness. Ignoring the need for relaxation, healthy habits, and personal fulfillment can have detrimental effects on well-being.
Despite these challenges, it is indeed possible to be a happy high achiever. While the pursuit of success and excellence can bring its difficulties, with the right mindset and strategies, individuals can find a harmonious balance between achievement and happiness.
How to be a Happy High Achiever
Know Your Priorities
To become a happy high achiever, it is important to clarify your priorities. Gain a clear understanding of what truly matters to you. Define your personal and professional goals and establish boundaries to protect your time and energy for each area of your life. Having a well-defined focus helps direct your efforts and maintain a sense of balance.
Have Realistic Expectations
Setting realistic expectations is also crucial. While ambition is commendable, it's important to be realistic about what you can accomplish. Avoid overwhelming yourself with excessive goals and high expectations. Recognize your limitations and embrace a healthy workload. By setting achievable targets, you can prevent burnout and maintain your overall well-being.
Cultivate a Supportive Community
Cultivating a supportive community is another key aspect of being a happy high achiever. Building a network of supporters is crucial for achieving happiness and success. Start by offering support to others in their endeavors. Engage in genuine relationships and surround yourself with individuals who uplift and encourage you. By fostering a community of mutual support, you can draw strength from one another and navigate challenges more effectively.
It's worth noting the insights shared by Howard Schultz, the founder of Starbucks, who recently penned a letter to Starbucks leaders. In the letter, he advised to "lean into the joy" and highlighted the importance of meaningful connections. Schultz emphasized that every interaction, whether with partners or customers, presents an opportunity for joy, love, and support. This mindset reminds us that happiness can be found in the small moments of connection and fulfillment that occur throughout our journey.
Examples of Happy and Unhappy High Achievers
Everyone has a unique experience and journey. You’ll find examples of both happy and unhappy high achievers in every field throughout history. Here four well-known examples:
Happy High Achievers
Albert Einstein was a German-born theoretical physicist who revolutionized the field of physics with his theory of relativity. Despite facing challenges throughout his life, including political persecution and personal struggles, Einstein found joy and fulfillment in his scientific pursuits. He had a deep curiosity about the universe, a passion for knowledge, and a dedication to expanding our understanding of the world. Einstein's ability to derive happiness from his intellectual endeavors and make significant contributions to science showcases his fulfillment as a high achiever.
Steve Jobs was an American entrepreneur and co-founder of Apple Inc. Known for his visionary leadership and innovative mindset, Jobs played a significant role in revolutionizing the technology industry with groundbreaking products like the iPhone, iPad, and Macintosh computer. Despite facing setbacks and being ousted from Apple at one point, Jobs remained passionate about his work and focused on creating products that would enhance people's lives. His pursuit of excellence and relentless drive to push boundaries brought him personal and professional satisfaction.
Unhappy High Achievers
Vincent van Gogh was a Dutch post-impressionist painter whose works are now celebrated as some of the most influential in Western art history. Despite his artistic talent, van Gogh struggled with mental health issues and experienced bouts of depression and isolation. He faced financial challenges and only gained recognition for his work posthumously. Van Gogh's case serves as a poignant reminder that accomplishments don’t necessarily lead to a fulfilling life.
Howard Hughes was an American business magnate, investor, and aviator. He gained immense wealth and success through his ventures in aviation, film production, and real estate. However, Hughes struggled with mental health issues, including obsessive-compulsive disorder, which led to social isolation and personal challenges. Despite his achievements and being coined one of the wealthiest and most influential men in the world, he became increasingly reclusive and experienced deteriorating physical and mental health. Hughes' example serves as a reminder that external success does not guarantee happiness, and the pursuit of personal well-being is essential for overall fulfillment.
Unfortunately, there’s not a magic equation to obtaining happiness as a high achiever, but there are things we can learn from those who have walked the road before us. Achievements can’t be your sole factor in happiness. It must involve a deeper understanding of oneself, a focus on personal growth, a desire to help others in some capacity, and a commitment to maintaining a sense of balance and well-being.
Remember, finding happiness as a high achiever is a continuous process. Regularly reassess your goals and priorities, adjust your expectations when needed, and nurture relationships that provide support and inspiration. By prioritizing both achievement and personal well-being, you can pave the way for a fulfilling and joyful journey as a high achiever.
*Note: This post is intended to provide general information and guidance but should not substitute professional mental health care. If you are grappling with mental health challenges, it is crucial to seek support from a licensed professional in your area who can provide personalized assistance and guidance tailored to your specific needs.