Beyond Balance: How to Find Work Life Harmony
In our fast-paced and ever-evolving world, the concept of work life balance has become a ubiquitous buzzword. We're often told to seek this equilibrium, with promises of a magical existence where professional and personal life seamlessly coexist. But we have to stop and ask the question: is balance actually attainable, or is work life harmony a better goal?
To answer the question of how to achieve work life harmony, this blog post will explore:
Jobs With Work Life Balance — The Wrong Goal
Jobs With Work Life Balance — The Wrong Goal
What if striving for the perfect job with work life balance is the wrong goal? Balance, in its conventional sense, is an ideal that many of us chase but rarely capture. The reality is that work and life are in a constant state of flux, forever ebbing and flowing like the tides. The demands of our careers and personal lives are never static, making it challenging to maintain a perfect equilibrium.
So, what if we were to shift our perspective? Instead of fixating on the pursuit of balance, what if we aimed for work life harmony — where we can thrive in both our professional and personal domains? Let's explore why this paradigm shift might offer a more realistic and fulfilling approach.
Well-Intentioned Advice
Many well-intentioned leaders and experts emphasize the importance of achieving work life balance. They prescribe various strategies, such as disconnecting from work after 6 pm, refraining from checking work-related communication until 8 am the next day, instituting flex Fridays, taking more vacations, setting clear boundaries, mastering time management, embracing hybrid work models, and adopting stress management techniques. These recommendations are undoubtedly valuable and can enhance our overall well-being. However, even when they are diligently followed, they may still not lead to the elusive state of balance.
The reason that balance is rarely mastered is that for most of us, work and life are not two separate entities but rather inextricably intertwined. Instead of attempting to compartmentalize work and the rest of life, a more practical approach involves becoming proactive in how we navigate their complex intersection. We can instead learn to adapt to the natural ebbs and flows, adjusting our approach to meet the ever-changing needs that arise.
Unrealistic Expectations at Work and Home
One common misconceptions is the belief that we must perpetually give 110% to everything we do. This misguided expectation often leads to feelings of guilt and inadequacy when we perceive ourselves as falling short in any area. We're expected to excel as employees: closing deals, meeting goals, and chasing bonuses. At the same time, we're expected to be exemplary parents who never miss a Little League game and are always there when our children need us. To compound the matter, there are other domains we strive to excel in like caring for aging parents, orchestrating unforgettable vacations, being a dependable friend, and even training for that next half marathon or exploring a new creative hobby. The contradiction within these expectations becomes glaringly apparent. At the end of the day, we simply don’t have the capacity to be it all, know it all, do it all, and care about it.
A Lesson from Mountaineering
To shed light on this conundrum, let's draw inspiration from the world of mountaineering. A friend of mine is training to summit a semi-technical "14er" (that’s mountaineering lingo for a 14,000-foot tall peak) next summer. She was recently telling me about her training plan, and an important component involves acknowledging that she shouldn't be in peak physical condition six months in advance because it's simply not sustainable. Instead, she should maintain a high level of fitness while continuing her training, reserving peak fitness for the critical moment. Translating this approach back to our professional and personal lives, we can recognize that there will be times when work demands peak performance. There will be other times when our personal lives will require more of us. These two aspects of life are in a constant state of flux and we need to be prepared for when the demands are raised. If we’re constantly operating at our peak, there’s nothing left to give — and this is why we see so much stress, overwhelm, and burnout.
Inevitably, there will be moments when the weight of work and the weight of our personal lives compound. Both demand our time, attention, and resources. These periods can be incredibly challenging to navigate. However, by reframing our perspective and accepting that balance is a fleeting ideal, we can free ourselves from the guilt and stress associated with striving for the unattainable.
The Power of No
So, how do we not operate at peak performance all the time? We could all do well to heed the wisdom of musician, filmmaker, entrepreneur, Venture Capitalist, and dear friend of mine, Ben Patterson: “Balance is the line that says, ‘I can do everything.’ There is no balance, but there is a convergence of priorities that is primarily defined by what I say no to.” A powerful antidote to the relentless pursuit of peak performance in every facet of life is the simple yet profound act of saying "no" on a regular basis. This deliberate practice empowers us to concentrate our energies on the right tasks at the right time. By saying “no” to certain things, our “yes” becomes more intentional, fostering a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Seeking Work Life Harmony
In conclusion, rather than fixating on the mirage of work life balance, we should aim to thrive in our work and in our personal lives and seek work life harmony. Thriving means embracing the natural ebb and flow of life's demands, adapting to the needs of the moment, and accepting that peak performance in each sphere may occur at different times. By relinquishing the pursuit of balance, we can find a more realistic and sustainable path to fulfillment and contentment, and hopefully avoid the stress and burnout that plague today’s corporate world.
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