How to Work A Lot and Still be Present

How do you balance work and family? How do you work a lot and not burnout? Enjoying work and putting in long hours are not inherently bad — as long as the right quantity of attention is given to other important things. As Christmas nears, many of us plan to work a little less and spend more time with friends and family. Let’s be reminded of what is needed to reset, recharge, and give full attention to what matters.

Here are three ways to work a lot, and still be available to other important people and things:

1. Know that work-life balance is a flawed

The concept of work-life balance implies a sense of equality. If works gets 40+ hours per week, family also needs 40+ hours. Then there are extra commitments like volunteer work, fitness, friendships … not to mention grocery shopping, car maintenance appointments, and sleep. You don’t have to be a math whiz to realize there just isn’t enough time in a week to truly find balance. The scale will always tip in one direction. And that is ok.

When things at work are urgent, the scale tips. When there is a family emergency, the scale tips. The very pursuit of rigid balance is often a negative (an unnecessary) stressor that is alleviated with the realization that dividing attention is much more meaningful than dividing time.

2. Understand how to divide attention

To give full attention to something or someone — even for a short duration of time — is immensely powerful. When work is demanding, make a conscious effort to be intentional with your time outside of the office.

A close friend recently shared this very relevant example with me:

He and his wife used to spend Friday evenings together. They would both veg out, have a couple of drinks, and watch Netflix. Eventually they had an honest conversation about how that time was not fulfilling to either of them — because they were both exhausted. So they made a change. He started spending Friday evenings at a local cigar shop working on deep consulting projects (and it ended up being a highlight of his work week). She started taking the alone time she desperately needed after spending 13-hour days with clients. And they replaced Friday night Netflix and chill time with Saturday activities or date nights when they were both refreshed and fully present. The result was less pressure, and more meaningful time together.

Although they were both working a lot, they figured out what recharged them and developed a method for spending time together that actually mattered.

Time alone doesn’t cultivate human connection or bonding — but quality time does. Especially when time is limited, be intentional about making the minutes count.

3. Wherever you are, be there

For many of use, our jobs or other life situations require a seemingly disproportionate amount of our time and attention. But when we truly grasp that attention is our most limited and valuable resource, we stop trying to be everywhere at once.

If a work project is important...be wholly there. If a family vacation is important...be wholly there.

Some weeks I work 60+ hours, make it the gym four times, spend a quality 90 minutes with my kids in the evenings, sleep well, and get a fun date night in with my wife. On such weeks, my schedule is packed — but I’m also filling my time with what is necessary, meaningful, and what allows me to rest and recover.

Other weeks, I only work 40 hours — and I watch a lot of Netflix with my kids while I reply to work emails from the couch. And the gym? No way.

That is the difference attention makes. Attention makes time spent working more productive; it makes time with family more intentional; and it allows rest and recharge to be prioritized.

Wrap Up

As you spend time with loved ones this Christmas, be challenged to make the time count. And as a new year is almost upon us — with all of its goals, strategies, and objectives — I hope that you’ll divide your attention in ways that make whatever you’re doing more impactful.